May 27th, 2013

Hey everyone!

So firts off, Happy Birthday Mary!!! S dnyom razhdenya!!!!

So, next... we went to Elmira to give her a present (we made their family peach cobbler) in hopes to soften the hearts of her family members... yeah... didn't work... Maybe if it was the daugter, but the daughter was gone with her boyfriend and Elmira's husband was in a BAD mood. She answered the door and thought it was so sweet we dropped by with food and invited us in... then the husband blew up at us. I've never been treated more like a dog in my life. He just acted as if we were animals that had wondered into his apartment. Pretty much threw us out, just yelling the whole time. Elmira ran out and talked with us to make us feel better, she said her husband had had a bad day at work and they were just working on replacing their shower, which had broken, so he was in a terrible mood. So much for being guided by the Spirit to come on a good day... After talking it over with my companion though, we came to the conclusion that it didn't make thigns any worse, and who knows? Maybe he'll like the peach cobbler... and feel bad for how he acted and next time he'll apologize and then get baptised... yeah... probably not any time soon... 

I really don't know what to do about Elmira. We're honestly trying everything possible. Other than Divorce. I don't think she has the guts, and honestly, I couldn't ask her to do that wen she still has a daughter living at home. That's not what our church is about. We want families to stay together and heal... She seems pretty worn down by this guy though. She tries so hard to serve him, talk with him, and let him know she loves him, and he treats her like dirt and ignores her.

Does anyone have any suggestions?

I'd love to see her get baptized, but the husband is not budging. As much as I'd love to say that if we all have faith, something will happen, but when we really understand what a prayer of faith really is, it is not to change the will of the Lord. I have to be content with His timing. Even if that means someone else is suffering and I won't be here when they finally find releif. Man, that's a bummer. I guess I'm lucky, at least I don't have to watch innocent women and children get burned because of their faith. I should count myself blessed.

This week, other than that, has truly been awesome! Although I am still sooooo far away from perfection, I can honestly say that I feel good with the amount that I'm pushing. There is so much I could do that I honestly don't... but I really feel like I can say that I know the Lord is pleased with me... at least at this moment... haha!

I love you all! I look forward to hearing from you next week!

Elder Swartz

May 13th, 2013

So, once upon a time, I talked to you all on Sunday, last night.

That was great. However, I feel as if I don't really have much to talk about now because... well, I already talked about it with you all. Oh, I guess I have a story.

So we were going to this less active guy named Felix. His record said that he posed a lot of questions and was really critical. I wasn't too excited to deal with that, but I figured we should probably figure out if this guy was still alive. Seriously, 70 years old is OLD for here in Russia. So we go over, and his wife immediately invites us in. No yelling. cool. He comes out and sits down across from us. He has a SUPER nice apartment that felt so welcoming and honestly felt like home. We sat down and he was very nice. We talked about life, purpose, and God. He was a very intelligent man and very sharp. There was no arguing, no bitterness toward the church. Only fond memories and respect. We asked him why the last time he came was ten years ago, and he said that he couldn't fake being a believer. He said he'd love to believe, that his life would be better if he did, but he wasn't going lie to himself and say he did. He said he had tried, but he couldn't continue because if God really did exist, he wasn't going to mock Him by pretending. It was very interesting. As we were talking, he simply expressed so much doubt and felt like things many saw as the hand of God were simply coincidences. I mentally poured out my soul to the Lord for this man, asking what I could say to lead him back. I got this impression to ask him what his thoughts were on death. He seemed to not know what to say. He said that it had always been something he thought about, as with everyone else. I specified the question and asked if it had recently been something troubling him. He didn't really know how to answer and finally said that the older you get, the more it hangs over you. I testified about life after death and how I knew that there was more than just the material world. If you didn't know, for some reason on my mission, I never cry. I cry everyonce in a while during personal study, or during testimony meetings at Zone conference, but on lessons, there have been very few occasions that I have even shed a tear. This was one of those rare times. As I testified, for some strange reason, a few tears began to flow, and I was surprised. I had testified thousands of times about the same thing. Why was I feeling it so strongly right now?  My companion came in and testified and backed me up and before he could say anything we said that we were out of time and said we'd like to pray to end. I meant to ask him who he'd like to pray, but for some reason I asked him IF he'd like to pray. I was surprised I even said this and expected him to refuse because of him previously saying he didn't like to put on a face of believing when he really didn't. Even more surprising was when he said yes. We all kneeled and his prayer went like this "Heavenly Father. Today was a very bad day for me. This morning I was diagnosed with a heart disease that the doctors told would kill me if I didn't undergo an operation. And even the, my chances of living they said were hard to determine. Thank you for sending these young men to me today. Not Yesterday, nottomorrow, but today. I am a man of many doubts. But one thing I know for sure. This morning I was devastated, where as now I am filled with peace and happiness. I know that was no coincidence." 

I'm out of time. 

Elder Swartz.

May 6th, 2013

Destin just said the pictures took so long to upload that he had zero time to write. So enjoy the pics this week! Sorry I couldn't/wouldn't rotate them. :) You'll just have to turn your heads. :)

April 29th, 2013

Hey!! How are you all!?

So we have this investigator, Elmira. She is an angel. She is so ready to get baptised, and she worked up the courage to tell her husband and his reply: "You can do whatever you want... after we get divorced." 

Devil.

So he put this ultimatum on her, and she's determined to get baptised, but she doesn't want to get divorced... so she's stuck between to flames right now. 

She brought her friend and her friends daughters to chuch with her this week. They all loved it and are coming next week. I love people who have caught the fire and just want to spread the joy with those around them! It's one of my favorite part of seeing someone's progress in the gospel, because they become this big... candle! that's not under a bushel! 

This week ahs been really bi-polar weather-wise... cold hot cold hot. It's not too bad, but the rain ruins it. I don't like rain very much as a missionary. 

So I didn't write anything down in my planner about what I wanted to share this week... so I'll just share 5 things I'm grateful for about serving a mission here. These are not in order of appreciation, I'm just thinking of them as I go.

1: I love learning how to live with someone. If I didn't learn how to do this, then what on earth would make me change myself so that I was more pleasant to be around? honestly, I would do what I wanted my way all the time and... no one likes that guy.

2: I love learning what a companion did for you months, even years down the road. I'm still learning things from my trainer, things I didn't realize he taught me at the time. Yeah, I had a tough time with him, but as every trainee does, I take back the way I thought I felt about him. 

3: I'm grateful for the faces I've remembered. Many of these people I won't see until the other side of the veil, but now I realize that that's simply what I said to them last time too. Luckily next time, I won't ever have to say that again. Plus, this time when I go through the veil, I won't forget them.

4: I'm grateful for strengthening my friendship with God. To paraphrase Regina Spektor, many people laugh at God until something bad happens in their life. No one's laughing at God when their kid doesn't come home from his party. No one's laughing at God with their husband walks out on them with three kids and no job. I'm glad to say that now, I really understand a lot better my relationship with him. I'm happy to say that I can laugh with God.

5: I'm grateful for my family... finally. haha! I always loved you guys and everything, but I had a hard time showing it. And honestly, I don't know how easy it will be for me to show it when I see you again, hopefully easier... haha! But honestly, I did not appreciate what I had. I have seen a million and one different paths of life at this point. I have seen dark paths and light paths. Crooked paths and straight. I can never deny that the straightest, brightest path I have seen out of all of them are the paths of people in THIS chruch when they work together as a faimly. I want to cherish that more. it's a rare blessing in this world.

There are a billion other things that I'm grateful for because of the knowledge and experience I have obtained here, but my little activity to drain time worked... and now I'm out of time. 

Love you all!!

Elder Skvortz.

PS: Christy, I'm sorry, I don't have time to write you back this week!!! Write me aother email and I'll write you next week!! But write me so that I don't forget!

April 14th, 2013

Hey everyone! 

Mary, I forgot to say, last week, I really enjoyed the picture you sent. We think alike... I tried taking the exact same one, but my companion thought it was disrespectful and refused to take it... haha! I showed the sisters in my district. They said that you'd be the kind of girl they would judge and hate because you were so pretty. Then I said I had no idea what they were talking about and they flipped out at me because I obviously had no taste in women or something(I know you're pretty, but It's hard to judge when it's your sister). They said you looked like, model material or something. Don't let it get to your head. haha! If you didn't get that this was a compliment, it was, but I felt awkward saying it.

So... this week, two of our elders are getting kicked out of Russia... They accidentally walked on to a secret airforce base or something, which was not marked obviously... being secret and all... now they are never allowed to come to Russia ever again... yep. Glad it's not me! But at the same time, they'll probably be going to the prebaltics or Ukraine, so actually they're lucky cuz Ukraine is beautiful!

Elder Bukanov is leaving to Ulyanovsk to train. And I'm staying here in Penza training again. I'll probably finish my mission here in Penza, which I'm way happy about.

Hmmmm... So we have this member, Alyona, she is wonderful, but she randomly decided to leave the church a little while ago, because she found this tool boyfriend. Karoche, this week she secretly called Lilya, one of my favorite members here and told her that she wanted to come to conference but her boyfriend didn't want her to. She said she was sick of him and made the biggest mistake of her life deciding to marry him. She caled off the marraige and told him she was going to church and he told her he wouldn't let her, so she snuck over with Lilya. I was at the church building and these guys were waiting for Alyona so that they could grab her and drive off. They figured she would try to sneak out. She ran up to the door, but her slimy boyfriend grabbed her and was trying to get her into the car. I ran out of site and sound of my companion to go and rescue her, but this huge guy appeared out of nowhere and the look on his face was serious. I knew I wouldn't be able to get past him. Lilya ran up and grabbed Alyona, she was in better range, but another guy went up and was ripping her off. That's when I yelled for my companion and Zhenya to come and help. Zhenya comes out, a tough guy with tatoos (in Russia each tatoo has a specific symbol, and his tatoos were a sign to anyone who understood that he was VERY dangerous)  and the other big guy almost wets himself and backs off. We get the guys off Alyona and call the police, but they take off. I got the license plate number though and was pretty much a hero... haha!

Pretty dramatic. That's a really fast, watered down version of the story, but essentially... I hate satan.

I'm out of time, I wanted to say so much more! We've got a baptism coming up if the husband doesn't forbid it! Prayer for her! Her name is Elmira!

Love you all!

Elder Swartz!

April 8th, 2013

Hello family and friends.

This week has been an adventure. We were pretty much outside of our area the entire week on splits. First with the sisters, then off to Samara on a day train to go on splits with the leaders there. oh if you're confused about the sister splits... you should be. so were we. oh well. haha! It was really just us working all together for a day, knocking, contacting, meetings. pretty fun. Splits with the Leaders were fun as well, but because of all the hustle, we got 3 days in our area. Even then, we did well and we were just as successful as any of the other elders and sisters in our district. Yeah for an understanding Heavenly Father. Ha, so on the train, my companion had gone to sleep and I got up to go to the bathroom and there was this drunk guy who got mad at me... for... uh... being. and he tried to punch me in the face, but very much missed. But he hit my shoulder pretty hard. It didn't hurt, I was more just confused. So I just turned around and went back to my cabin and chuckled for a moment. Russia. haha! 

I love how Russia is two weeks behind everything because I don't get caught off guard with holidays or Conference! I get emails about how awesome it all was and I remember "oh yeah, that stuff exists" and then I am ready when it comes to Russia. Conference should be soon here, so I'm excited about that.  So right now our area is doing well, We really have some stud investigators and I have pretty high hopes for their baptisms. They may not get baptized with me, but I feel like it will happen eventually. I really feel like this is the prime of my mission. I'm not nervous at all about my teaching ability (finally), although I still have not Mastered Russian, I am rarely misunderstood. I feel like the spirit is guiding me and I feel as though I am seeing the fruits of my labor. I just received news that a girl I found and worked with in another city is getting baptized this next week. There is nothing else that I can think of that brings more peace to my heart than knowing that the Lord is the one in charge of it all, even when I forget that. Even when I don't get to see the whole scheme, it doesn't mean that it doesn't exist. That's the whole point of our message, finding faith in things that you've never seen. 

So I'm really happy to say that... well... I'm just happy. I can't think of a better place in the world for me right now. Not Home. Not Asia. Not Disneyland. Here. My goal now is to come home on a stretcher from working so hard. I hear it happens. haha! Mary, push as hard as you possibly can to the end. I want to be able to say that I worked harder than you, but I don't want to win just because you slacked off at the end. (I'm absolutely positive that you aren't, but we're all human, right?) Yes. That's a challenge.

I love you all. 

Elder Swartz!

April 1st, 2013

So people, how's the weather?

This week has just been a whole bunch of Russia being indecisive about warming up. Lot's of melting and freezing. Spring is on it's way though. I'm pretty much ready for it. Puddles = Satan when your shoes are already filled with almost two years of hard work... and big holes... So Elder Michaelis just showed me a picture of his neices and nephew and said "These guys totally beat your neices and nephews" and I have to admit, the picture was way adorable... but then I threw back all the stories that Rachel has told me about Maddie and Boston... and he knew he was defeated. I'm serious, you should have seen the look on his face when he realized that my neices and nephews were better. haha! He didn't admit it out loud though.

So also, we now have permission to email friends because of a first presidency decision... I may not be super good at rezponding depending on how often I get emails, but I thought I'd throw that out there. 

It was easter on sunday...? Huh... weird. Here in Russia, Easter isn't until May 5th... happy easter I guess though!

Mother, I was thinking the other day and I was reminded of a recipe that would be very good. You know that one baked chicken and rice stuff with the cream of chicken and bacon/ham sauce? yeah, thad be kool if you tossed that my way. We've been having cook offs with members, competing who can make the best meals as of late... it's been really fun, and filled with more dinner appointments I've ever had. Sometimes I win, sometimes they win, but it's all just delicious food in the end... haha! I'm ashamed to say that I have gained I think five pounds of the unfortunate kind of weight. haha!

So this week, I yelled at my companion... yeah. It wasn't his fault. I had just gottten chewed out by people on the phone and other circumstances stacked up and I was doing a good job at keeping my cool and being patient and then he did something really small that he was just joking about and I meant to "play" frustrated, but a bit of realy frustration spilled out and I raised my voice a bit. only for one word and I bit my tongue and felt really bad and went red in the face... he is SOOO great though because he immediately shrugged it off and we were friends again in three seconds. Man, that's the second time I've let my emotions out of hand, the first time was my first cycle in an understandable situation, this one I felt waayy bad for though... But I learned a lot about myself though!

So to be honest, I'm... how do I put this. I'm not an "Always" missionary. At least, not the kind of Always missionary that I wanted and expected to be. I don't "Always" put in 100% like I wish I would and there are SOOO many times where I KNOW I should do something and I KNOW it's a prompting from the spirit... and I DONT DO IT!!! So there's that... and yes. It bothers me. BUT! I've become an a different kind of Always missionary in the fact that I understand that I can ALWAYS change. I can ALWAYS come back to Christ, because he is ALWAYS waiting with open arms. And I've been prepared to be an ALWAYS person. As a normal person, I'm not always going to be perfect. That's not the game though. It's about ALWAYS coming back. always trying again. Always doing a bit better. So, yeah, I haven't become the perfect, "Always" missionary that I expected, but I've become something that I didn't expect. I still have time though, and I can do a lot better before the end of my mission! I'm going to finish off with no regrets! Thanks for your constant support and encouragement! Love you all!

K bye.

Elder Swartz!