Letter #44 from Russia

Hello everyone! 

So I'm getting transferred. Like right now. I'm in Samara and i'm at this super terrible internet place... thing. But whatevs. haha! So I'm pretty sad about leaving Penza again, but I feel good about where I'm going. I'm going to a place called Ulyanovsk. It's named after Vladimir Ulyanov, or for those of you who don't know his real name, Lenin. He grew up in this town. I'm going to go to his house too, missionaries always do. Supposedly this town is the prettiest in our mission, it's supposedly a bit better kept because of it's famousness... I'm excited about that. Elder Ross is my new companion. He's loud, and really energetic. I think I'll like him. I can't really concentrate right now... There are Russians yelling at each other behind me and freaking out calling each other idiots. Wow... This is fun. I'll miss this when I go home.

Stas is definitely NOT progressing right now. In fact, he's completely digressed. He was doing so well, but then his wife walked out on him and he went into a super depressive state. We called him the other day right as he was standing on top of a 9 story apartment building contemplating jumping. It was super sad to talk to him over the phone... and super scary because he was in a really sketchy situation.  His life really fell apart. We were able to help calm him down though thankfully and he didn't do anything. Man... if people just excepted and lived the gospel of Jesus Christ, there wouldn't have to be any of these terrible situations... I wonder what my mission would be like if I were travelling all over singing to people and signing autographs and still somehow getting baptisms even though I was gone all the time... Yeah... who needs that.

I felt personally that we really worked hard this week. We pushed ourselves and we worked with members a lot to help our investigators. This week seems like it's been a rollercoaster week. One with really high highs and low lows. I'm really frustrated though because it seems like everytime I find someone golden, they are crazy or the go crazy because satan is working so hard against them! I don't know how to protect them from the world because I can't make their choices for them! I feel like I always get so close to a baptism... and then everything falls. I really hope it isn't punishment of some sort. I really hope this is just how things are working out... but then I look at all of our leaders and they all are such successful missionaries! I need to sacrifice more to the Lord. I need to give him everything... I must be holding something back. And because of that, He's holding things back from me. I'll figure it out. If it takes me until the end of the mission, then so be it! If I come home from my missionary having become a disciple of Christ, then it is all worth it, right? 

Love you all! Got to go!

Elder Skvortz.

Letter #43 from Russia

Hello Family!

I love getting everyone's emails! I never fully appreciated communication with family... until I could't remember what they look like. Just kidding, obviously I remember... some of you.

So this week has been really nice in the fact that although it started off terrible because of the heat, it has gotten much better because of some rain. SO GRATEFUL!! I love rain now, even though it makes it harder for people to stop and talk to you, it feels so nice! The Russian habit of drinking hot tea when it's scorching hot outside is never going to be something I will adopt. They think it's good cuz it makes you sweat more , which cools you off... I think it's... ostrobogulous. 

So Laziz, one of the best members here in Penza is leaving back to Uzbekistan. I love the kid so much and he is so sad because he's really scared about loosing his faith. Pretty sure I'll be skyping with him a lot when I get home to help him keep strong. He's going to be learning Japanese so that he can move there after a few years in Uzbekistan. In fact, he wants to to live with him there, so I probably won't be coming back to America anytime soon. haha! Not really, but they got me a japanese dictionary so that I can learn Japanese through Russian when I get back home. The members here are so funny! And it's awesome because now I can ditch Russian and study Japanese! just kidding... I'll save it for when I get home. 

This week, we made cookies and gave them to our neighbors, well, we put them in front of their door. They didn't get touched for three days. We figured they were just at the dacha for the weekend, but then we came home from church and they had moved to cookies back in front of our door... Rejected. It was pretty awkard. haha! Also, fun fact! Russian windows are designed to open two ways. They they can swing open to the side for full wind coolage, or you can swing them down from the top a bit for partial wind breeze. I don't understand how it works, but I have no interest in finding out, I just thought I would tell you because there isn't really any other exciting news... it's frustrating. We would have had exciting news that Stas got baptized, but he didn't come to church again, and we can't let him get baptized if he doesn't have good church going habits. So sad! I'll probably get transferred before he get's baptized. We all feel like I am the one who'll get transferred because I've been here the longest. oh well. If he get's baptised, I'll know I helped him on that path! Which will be such a blessing! 

We don't really have any investigators that are doing to great right now in regards to preparing for baptism, other than stas. We are working hard, but it seems that the Lord is still trying us. We are definitely having more success than I had last cycle, but things still aren't really picking up. The fact that we had stas was a miracle, but since it looks like it's going to be a while before he can get baptised, the work suddenly seems so slow again. haha! I wish there was something I could do to shake things up so that we all got fired up again! It's just irritating because the government forbids like... everything here, so we can't do things that other missions can do for finding and stuff. Oh well, The Lord sent me here to work, not complain, so there's no point in getting irritated about something I can't change.  The mission is definitely the refiner's fire and theres no way you can come out of a mission like this and not be changed. Well, maybe someone has succeeded in doing it, but you've got to try pretty hard I would say. I'll definitely be different. 

Hey, I've got to go! I love you all! I'm so glad to be here, even though it seems like time is stopped at times, other times seems like it can't seem to slow down! I'm loving my mission!

Elder Skvortz!

Letter #42 from Russia

Hey Family!!

So this week has not been my favorite on the mission. It's fine, I'm still
happy and having fun with my companions, but Stas didn't show up to church,
and because of that he can't get baptized this cycle. So if I get
transferred, I won't get to be there for him. I'm really bummed about that.
He's one of my favorite people I've ever met and I'm frustrated at him for
being so unreliable! However, when I think about his life, I calm down.
He's going through a lot of changes and I can't expect him to come along
perfectly. That's actually the fun part about being a missionary. Each
investigator has their own specific challenges and concerns that can only
be resolved if YOU work hard and YOU work effectively.

Dad, thanks for your advice. I knew it all along, of course. But sometimes
you need someone to remind you of it. In my companionship we've really been
talking a lot about how we can be the most effective in our companionship.
As we kept digging to find the source of the problem, slash find the
solution, it went through a lot of things, ranging from poor circumstances,
personality traits, and desire. Honestly, we worked it down to simply
understanding the atonement. If you understand the atonement and it is real
to you in your heart, you won't be worried about if you are doing enough
because you will automatically be moving forward in the work in the best
way you can to help these people. The atonement is all about other people.
there was no thought in Christ's mind in regards to himself. He didn't try
to take the load off a bit because he felt tired. He didn't skip every
other hundredth person because he felt like "They probably won't accept
this anyway." He did it for every person, with out rest. That needs to be
our attitude as missionaries. We need to do everything we can in this work,
because if we don't then who will?  If you find yourself remembering
yourself too much, that's when you get lazy. You realize how tired you are.
You focus on how much you've already done and how you feel about what's all
happening. If you don't do that, then you'll keep going. It's a lot like a
headache. It's when you focus on it that it gets worse. Only when you
forget about it and move forward does it calm down a bit.

Sorry about the monologue... haha! So this week it has been about 42
Celcius. We are outside all day and my companions come home burned and I
come home whiter. I don't understand.  In our apartment it's been about 35
degrees on average. It's pretty satanic in our apartment. The Sartori's
were appalled at how hot it was. This is with our curtains drawn and a fan
on. We don't know what to do. Oh well, it's coolling down, so we'll live.
 I've got to go. I love you all I hope you are all doing well! Keep the
people of Russia in your prayers! Especially MY investigators because they
are the best! haha!

Love, Elder Skvortz!