July 1st, 2013. Last one!!

From what I know, I will NOT be checking my email after this point, so I don't think it would be worth it to write me. 

Mother to answer your question about the reunion thing on monday or tuesday... I don't know. It honestly just depends on how I feel at the time... I know that sounds really fickle, but I can't give you a solid answer. Maybe I'll be drop dead tired because of the thirty hours of flights and layovers and messed up sleep schedule. Maybe I'll be just fine because my sleep schedule is off and because of the jet lag I'll be fine at night and tired at another time. Maybe it'll hit me the next day... I honestly have no Idea. I would say... I'd like to plan it for Monday night though. I can't think of anything else I would want to do than spend time with my family my first day back, so I feel like I'd like that.

So I can't even tell you how weird it is to know that by this time next week I'll be on a plane. I keep telling myself "It's just another transfer, don't think about it..." But as much as I wish I could think about it that way... my brain is not THAT dumb. I'm doing my best at keeping myself going! I must say, I really appreciate the support! I don't feel like I've gotten one trunky comment from anyone back at home, at least, not Too trunky. I'm so grateful that you have all helped me be my best throughout my mission and have done nothing but encourage me! I really can't tell you how many angels one prayer sends, but I know I've had probably a billion angels helping me throughout my mission. Thank you all so much.

I don't have really much else to say this week. Please pray for the people here in Penza. Pray for the members and the people who are close to the truth! Satan has so many more bases here, so many more soldiers and the Lord has so much less help. If your prayers have sent that many angels to me, I know that The Lord will send that many Angels to these people as well!

I love you all! I'm SOOOO excited to see you next week!

June 23, 2013

Hey everyone!!!

So this week has been very... good!

Our numbers weren't that great, but that's just becasue we went on exchanges. but other than that, it was a great week.

So that boy who almost killed himself, he's still alive, and he's actually woken up out of his coma and is talking and can ask questions and stuff. It is way weird. No one was expecting him to even live, and the doctors said that if he did, he would only be a vegetable. They're freaking out because of his insanely fast recovery. He jumped out of a window on the fifth story of his apartment building and to avoid making you all squeemish, I'll avoid using the word "smashed" and instead I'll say he bumped his head.

The fact that he's alive is a miracle in itself. The fact that he's already to that level of recovery in 6 days is like... it's like seeing someone come back from the dead. A miracle, a really big one. It was all his mother's faith. She fasted since the day it happened. (not healthy. Don't do that.) We're really hoping that he'll make a good recovery, when before, there was no chance. I can't even describe how amazed I am at the Lord every day here. I just I could call down that power more... haha! I guess I'll just never understand the will of the Lord. 

Let's see... I don't really have a ton to say this week other than I got really trunky yesterday at church. Not for home. For the Temple. I realized that I can go to the temple again in two weeks and I got soooo excited. 

Man, I wish I had more things to say, but I really don't. I just feel really weird, a ton happened this week, but I don't even know what. Haha! Maybe I should have wrote stuff down...

Well, I'll just end it here. I really love you all. Please stay safe. Just don't do anything stupid just a little bit longer. 

Love Elder Swartz

June 17th, 2013

So this week has been a very, very difficult week. There were also some really, really great parts, but my mission is bringing me different experiences it seems everyday.

I'm okay, don't worry. But there been a big issue that happened in the branch that resulted in an attempted suicide. I only say attempted because he hasn't died yet. He'll die probably today or tomorrow. Without going into details, he received a traumatic head injury that he will not be recovering from. And me, being the senior elder in Penza, I've been tagged as the translator between... well everyone. I don't mean to make myself out as some scarred, tragic, pity-case. In fact, it's been very interesting being in the middle of it. I've got a lot of positive things from it happening as well, but it definitely has been one of the more difficult things that has happened on my mission. The mother is in shock right now, probably denial. The father is taking it really hard, and the brother is probably finding out about it right now as I'm typing this from his mission president. 

It's really weird.

I'm honestly doing fine though. In fact, we had one of the funnest weekends in my entire mission. Weall went down to Saratov for a district conference and it was an incredible opportunity to say goodbye to my favorite missionaries and members. I got to see Kevin there!! We were super happy to see each other! He's been reading the Book of Mormon, but he's still having a hard time. Mary, he said he wanted to thank you for that letter he got from you. He aid at first, he was offended, it was pretty bold. But as he thought about it, his heart was softened as he realized what love he felt from it, a girl he didn't even know who cared about him. He said it gave him a lot of strength to keep reading the Book of Mormon and keep trying.

I really don't have any time, I have a lot of stuff to do to clean up the situation that's happening here. It's weird that I'm even involved, I wish that I didn't have to worry about it, but because of the nature of the issues, I got placed right in the hot spot. Pray for this family that they will be able to feel the power of te Atonement working in them and so that they will be able to come closer to God because of it.

Thank you dad for your letter. Happy Father's day. I'll consider myself a step ahead of you because I already think that I have the best dad in the world and I already figured that out a long time ago. Yeah, maybe I had some stuff to work out within myself, but honestly I think that every teenager takes for granted what his family really is until he sees a million other ones that are 1000 times worse. Then he realizes there are no perfet families and suddenlyhe is so grateful for how functional his family is and that he has a father who not only doesn't come home drunk but is probably one of the best (but not perfect, which I'm glad for) examples of a good priesthood holder and a patriarch of his household. Thanks for your support.

Loves, 

Elder Swartz.

June 10th, 2013

Hey everyone!

So, I just got kind of interrupted by President Sartori calling me during email, so I won't get as much time as I had planned, I even tried to plan in more time today as well! Oh well.

Sooo... Elmira's still in the same boat... but her boat is sinking. She said she feels like her desire to be baptised isn't as strong as it was before, and she isn't sure if she wants to do it now. I feel like it's just her way of telling herself that it's not what she needs because she doesn't have any hope for herself getting baptised. We're trying to support her, but it is obvious that she's losing the spirit. I really don't know what to do about it... It's been really eating at me. I guess I just have to wait on the Lord. I think this is why families aren't forever outside of the covenant... so that the wives don't have to be hooked to some guy who loved alcohol more than them. 

Dad, I'm glad that you took Mary's threat/advice to heart and went to relax with Mom. I'm sure she really appreciated that. I loved the pictures you took! I feel like everytime I take a picture it never does a justice... I don't feel like you ave that problem with your photography. Rachel has got you on a good path! haha! 

So I had an interview with President Sartori this past week... haha! Oh man... If only you could have been there! It was very... not what I expected. It was WAY good, don't get me wrong! Really good info, tips and pointers that will honestly help me a lot. I actually really appreciated him talking to me about the stuff he did, because I honestly would have never asked anyone about it... ever. haha! Well, MAYBE mom and dad... but not even sure about that. Anyway, it was a great interview. I feel much more prepared for life. 

So essentially, satan's a jerk and he knows it. The work is going well, but the results are few. I couldn't ask for a harder/better mission. It's been what I need, and it's pushed me in ways I would have never expected. Looking back on it, I see so much more of what it has done for me and to me...

I'm really loving my mission, even though it's like a frustrating child... Even with all the gray hairs, I couldn't imagine my life without it.

Loves, Elder Swartz

June 2nd, 2013

Holy Moses, everyone had such cool weeks!!

We had a great week this week as well!

This week we had a training meeting and got some great inspiration for how to be better missionaries, but honestly, I got some awesome insights for after my mission. It was a unique conference because it was supposed to be President Sartori's last conference, so he gave us his last two cents of what he wants us to become and keep becoming after we come home. It was really insightful and I can honestly say that I received some good revelations for my life after the mission. Not in a trunky way, but how I can continue to grow as a missionary, even after my mission. It was very cool to be on such meeting with president, it had a very different feel to it because of the fact that he was set to leave in three weeks.

However, the Lord works in mysterious ways.

President Sartori got called to stay another month because our new mission president ran into some health problems when he got his examination for his mission. Cool thing though, if he hadn't gotten called, and accepted the call (meaning getting everything ready to take a two year leave from his work, he's fifty five) he would have probably died because they wouldn't have gotten any medical tests done on him before it got out of hand. Heavenly Father's the best, huh?

That means I get my exit interview with him! I'm happy about that! haha!

Mary, I'm so happy that you had a wedding that you got to help with, but honestly, the coolest part of your email was the double baptism! Man, if I had that happen to me... I don't even know what I'd do! You're mission must be such an adventure! Thanks for the pictures! It's been fun to see them throughout your mission!

Mom, So glad that you're having a blast on the coast! That sounds so fun! But honestly, I can't even tell you how happy I am that I'm not there. Is that weird? I just love NOT doing that sort of stuff right now. Yeah, sure it will be fun when the time comes, but I'm just so happy that I can continute doing what I'm doing right now for the time I have left!

Dad, sorry you're stuck at home doing stuff, but you've always liked your hobbies. I need to come home and get into that stuff with you! I always wanted to do stuff with you, I just never wanted to at the time you actually were doing it... haha! I'll really try to make time to learn how to do stuff with you when I get home!

Well, I've got no time (like always!) I love you all so much! 

Loves!

Elder Swartz

May 27th, 2013

Hey everyone!

So firts off, Happy Birthday Mary!!! S dnyom razhdenya!!!!

So, next... we went to Elmira to give her a present (we made their family peach cobbler) in hopes to soften the hearts of her family members... yeah... didn't work... Maybe if it was the daugter, but the daughter was gone with her boyfriend and Elmira's husband was in a BAD mood. She answered the door and thought it was so sweet we dropped by with food and invited us in... then the husband blew up at us. I've never been treated more like a dog in my life. He just acted as if we were animals that had wondered into his apartment. Pretty much threw us out, just yelling the whole time. Elmira ran out and talked with us to make us feel better, she said her husband had had a bad day at work and they were just working on replacing their shower, which had broken, so he was in a terrible mood. So much for being guided by the Spirit to come on a good day... After talking it over with my companion though, we came to the conclusion that it didn't make thigns any worse, and who knows? Maybe he'll like the peach cobbler... and feel bad for how he acted and next time he'll apologize and then get baptised... yeah... probably not any time soon... 

I really don't know what to do about Elmira. We're honestly trying everything possible. Other than Divorce. I don't think she has the guts, and honestly, I couldn't ask her to do that wen she still has a daughter living at home. That's not what our church is about. We want families to stay together and heal... She seems pretty worn down by this guy though. She tries so hard to serve him, talk with him, and let him know she loves him, and he treats her like dirt and ignores her.

Does anyone have any suggestions?

I'd love to see her get baptized, but the husband is not budging. As much as I'd love to say that if we all have faith, something will happen, but when we really understand what a prayer of faith really is, it is not to change the will of the Lord. I have to be content with His timing. Even if that means someone else is suffering and I won't be here when they finally find releif. Man, that's a bummer. I guess I'm lucky, at least I don't have to watch innocent women and children get burned because of their faith. I should count myself blessed.

This week, other than that, has truly been awesome! Although I am still sooooo far away from perfection, I can honestly say that I feel good with the amount that I'm pushing. There is so much I could do that I honestly don't... but I really feel like I can say that I know the Lord is pleased with me... at least at this moment... haha!

I love you all! I look forward to hearing from you next week!

Elder Swartz

May 13th, 2013

So, once upon a time, I talked to you all on Sunday, last night.

That was great. However, I feel as if I don't really have much to talk about now because... well, I already talked about it with you all. Oh, I guess I have a story.

So we were going to this less active guy named Felix. His record said that he posed a lot of questions and was really critical. I wasn't too excited to deal with that, but I figured we should probably figure out if this guy was still alive. Seriously, 70 years old is OLD for here in Russia. So we go over, and his wife immediately invites us in. No yelling. cool. He comes out and sits down across from us. He has a SUPER nice apartment that felt so welcoming and honestly felt like home. We sat down and he was very nice. We talked about life, purpose, and God. He was a very intelligent man and very sharp. There was no arguing, no bitterness toward the church. Only fond memories and respect. We asked him why the last time he came was ten years ago, and he said that he couldn't fake being a believer. He said he'd love to believe, that his life would be better if he did, but he wasn't going lie to himself and say he did. He said he had tried, but he couldn't continue because if God really did exist, he wasn't going to mock Him by pretending. It was very interesting. As we were talking, he simply expressed so much doubt and felt like things many saw as the hand of God were simply coincidences. I mentally poured out my soul to the Lord for this man, asking what I could say to lead him back. I got this impression to ask him what his thoughts were on death. He seemed to not know what to say. He said that it had always been something he thought about, as with everyone else. I specified the question and asked if it had recently been something troubling him. He didn't really know how to answer and finally said that the older you get, the more it hangs over you. I testified about life after death and how I knew that there was more than just the material world. If you didn't know, for some reason on my mission, I never cry. I cry everyonce in a while during personal study, or during testimony meetings at Zone conference, but on lessons, there have been very few occasions that I have even shed a tear. This was one of those rare times. As I testified, for some strange reason, a few tears began to flow, and I was surprised. I had testified thousands of times about the same thing. Why was I feeling it so strongly right now?  My companion came in and testified and backed me up and before he could say anything we said that we were out of time and said we'd like to pray to end. I meant to ask him who he'd like to pray, but for some reason I asked him IF he'd like to pray. I was surprised I even said this and expected him to refuse because of him previously saying he didn't like to put on a face of believing when he really didn't. Even more surprising was when he said yes. We all kneeled and his prayer went like this "Heavenly Father. Today was a very bad day for me. This morning I was diagnosed with a heart disease that the doctors told would kill me if I didn't undergo an operation. And even the, my chances of living they said were hard to determine. Thank you for sending these young men to me today. Not Yesterday, nottomorrow, but today. I am a man of many doubts. But one thing I know for sure. This morning I was devastated, where as now I am filled with peace and happiness. I know that was no coincidence." 

I'm out of time. 

Elder Swartz.